Shame; Church

It’s ironic, but the strongest resistance to the process of healing from shame is shame itself. We’re ashamed to admit that we need healing, that we have been damaged in ways that cause us shame, but to be healed we must acknowledge all of our wounds. The journey from shame to freedom, and a full life in Christ, must be a blatantly honest, nothing hidden voyage…

When you’re suffering from shame the last thing you want to do is make yourself vulnerable. Your vulnerability is one of the reasons you’re suffering from shame in the first place, so why would you want to open yourself up for more?

~ from Unashamed by Christine Caine


Yes, indeed the Church should be the very place for this to happen. Church should be the safest place, where everyone is vulnerable, in their different ways. Sadly, so often it’s not. Often church is somewhere we either hide our true selves (or deny they exist) or we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and lost, yet still people don’t help, don’t reach out in love, instead extending only judgement. Churches are filled with the ubiquitous Christian smile (peace be with you!.. so long as I don’t have to talk to you in any other context) glossing over doubts or failings. After all,  we can’t be a ‘good’ Christian if we show anything other than our middle-class Sunday Best. I imagine this applies to English congregations in particular. How sad. If only we would let Jesus in.

The King will answer and say to them, “I assure you and most solemnly say to you, to the extent that you did it [showed kindness] for one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it for Me.

Matthew 25:40 (AMP)

2 thoughts on “Shame; Church

  1. This is the sad truth. We have what are called small groups here, in which a group of people from the same church get together at someone’s house or a smaller room at church. We share burdens and get together for lunches and picnics three or four times a year. There is some type of Bible study as well during each week’s meeting. Are these small groups catching on there?

    Good to hear from you. I read the post about shame as well and find it so true. Shame holds us back.

    • Evangelical churches definitely have small groups, yes. I don’t know about the more ‘traditional’ churches. I might try to join a local small group, while I’m not able to get over to our church. It’s a good thing to be part of a community, as well as to learn about God.

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